


I still want to cry when I think about how good that felt

by Aurora_Damigny



Category: Vampire Knight (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Blood Drinking, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mind Manipulation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-13
Updated: 2019-09-13
Packaged: 2020-10-18 00:51:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20630360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aurora_Damigny/pseuds/Aurora_Damigny
Summary: Zero hates the taste of Kuran's blood, hates that it's in his body.Until it isn't.





	I still want to cry when I think about how good that felt

It makes him sick, having this monster's blood inside of him. 

Yuki's blood makes him feel better, more grounded and in control. But Kuran's blood, it weighs him down, like liquid concrete was poured into his veins. He feels like he could sink into the ground from the thickness of it. 

He honestly wonders why other vampires seem to want this disgusting, poisoned blood so much. 

Until his body starts to actually process it and it disappears.  
It makes him lighter, but in the empty way. Like his soul is naked and fragile and cold, cold _cold_. 

He wonders if that's what Yuki feels when she reaches desperately for the man. That he's the only source of warmth she can cling to in this world.  


He wants more. But he deals with it. He controls the urge like he manages all his other demons. Yuki's lips, Kuran's blood. If he can breathe once more without them, then he should push to the next breath. Again and again, until the day is over. 

But then he starts having nightmares. 

He doesn't remember anything, but he wakes up crying with the lingering feeling of teeth in his neck and blood in his mouth. It was like that too, when his parents died. But Yuki's too busy drowning in her own memories to save him from his own this time. 

He really tries to be her shield. He would do anything for her. Waking up with determination and falling asleep with commitment. 

Only to wake up an hour later drenched in cold sweat, his hands around his neck, trying to rip the sensation out. 

He remember throwing himself under the cold shower, not even taking his clothes off. His muscles painfully contracting, coughing blood on the white tile of the bathroom. 

He doesn't know how he arrived at the door of the night class's dormitory. 

His bloody feet and the smell of mud on him tells him he walked through the woods. He turns around, ready to run back to his bed before the monsters smell the red liquid pooling on their doorstep. 

He doesn't get to make a single step before someone grabs his wrist and brutally yanks him inside. "The hell you're doing Kiryuu ? Trying to bait us with your blood to kill us ?" 

It's the blond one. Aido. He's still wearing his uniform, but his hair are messier than usual. Zero pulls away from his grip and the motion makes the room around him blurry and unsteady. He grabs his head, showing his canines aggressively "Don't touch me." he orders.

Aido frowns "What's wrong with you ?"

"It's alright, I'll take care of this."

Kuran is as the bottom of the stairs, even though Zero never felt him approach. He nods to the other vampire and Aido clenches his teeth. "I can make him leave easily, Kaname-sama."

"I know." But the pure-blood isn't looking at the blond anymore, his attention focused on the ex-human who is looking back at him hatefully.

He's wearing a black dress shirt and light grey pants. It makes Zero feel uncomfortable that he's still in his pajamas. "Follow me." The other man tells him. 

  
The Kiryuu does so willingly that he wonders for a second if the other has used his powers to make him obey. But whatever is pushing his body into motion, it doesn't feel like mind control. 

He walks into Kaname's room. It smells like lavender and wax, the king size bed looks like it hasn't been used in weeks. The loose skin of the cuts on Zero's feet catch painfully on the old-style parquet, and he stumbles until Kuran catches his shoulders. 

"Why are you wet ?" 

  
He is. It explains why he feels so cold, he never dried himself off after his shower, and it's still dark outside."Nightmare." and this time, it does feel like the word has been snatched out of him by the man. He shakes his head an pushes the other away, only to end up being the one falling. 

It hurts like his bones are made of sponge, but at least there is no more pressure on his wounded feet. His skull is throbbing painfully and he can't ground himself enough to stand up again. He hates this, being stuck on his knees in front of this man. 

The other vampire kneels in front of him. "What do you need, Zero ?" He's using his first name, which is more than a little disturbing. "Blood." Again, he hears his own voice, but doesn't remember opening his mouth. 

"Alright, then drink." 

  
Kaname brings his neck close to his mouth. The vampire-hunter can tell his eyes must have turned red, he can see all the veins in the pure-blood's neck, pulsing with the liquid his body needs to function. His lips collapse on the warm skin there, but his teeth remain small and human. He breathes in the vampire's throat without managing to do anything else. A hand comes to rest on his hair. 

"You're exhausted." It sounds like disapproval. Somewhere inside Zero, his inferior vampire instincts curl up in fear. It doesn't feel good when Kaname is angry. The pure-blood's arm that isn't holding his head supports his shoulder and make him lie down against the other's chest.

Kuran brings his own wrist to his mouth and bites. Zero's crimson red eyes sting with hunger, looking up at the calm face of the man. Kaname puts the opened skin against his lips, letting the blood flow directly into Zero's mouth. The shorter man reflexively grabs it with both hand, lapping at the liquid that flows slowly. His body is filled by it, the wounds on his feet closing. His head finally stops swimming, like gravity is working again. 

As much as he wants to hate the taste, it's soothing and familiar, making his heartbeat slow down with the comforts it provides. It's heavy like a tight hug, like his arm around his shoulders.

  
By the time the arm is pulled back from his mouth, he's already closed his eyes. He doesn't have the willpower or dignity to open them at this point, doesn't want to know how the pure-blood might look at him right now. He won, Zero is the most vampire of them both, the one that can't handle his feelings in any other ways than by sucking the life out of the other's veins. 

He does open his eyes though, when he's being lifted off the ground by the other man. But he only sees black cotton and strands of brown hair, and that doesn't explain anything. Then he's put down on the large bed. Kaname sits next to him, and that doesn't make anything clearer. 

Zero remembers he can talk "What are you.."

"Shh" And it's worrying that the ex-human does stop mid-sentence. But he's tired, so tired, and he finally doesn't feel terrified and on-edge, and it's been forever. "Sleep now, you're safe."

Kaname's face gives him nothing. He's collected and relaxed, with this undercurrent of immense power which is always there when he is close enough. Zero does believe he wouldn't kill him in his sleep. Kuran knew him when he was a kid that attacked him with a kitchen knife, knew him when he couldn't lift a gun with both hands, knew him when he would hide in his room whenever there was a vampire in the director's house. 

And Zero was still alive. So clearly, killing him wasn't the point. 

Whatever the point was.

The hand is back in his hair, rubbing and scratching and massaging, just like Yuki used to do back when they where kids. She learned it from him, this softness, free of consequences, given so easily. 

Zero wishes he wasn't so hooked on it, even more than their blood.

He falls asleep. 


End file.
